Unlucky Lucky Charms

Yesterday, Dane and I were doing some organizing. I think my nesting instinct has started a bit soon. I hope I don't drive my man crazy before this baby comes. Anyway, I thought it was about time Dane went through his high school papers. He found some pretty hilarious stuff. As he likes to put it, he was, at times, a creatively angry young man. Anyway, this one was not so angry, but it was surely creative. The assignment was a letter of complaint for his English class. He said it was boring, so he tried to make it interesting. Here it is; Enjoy.

General Mills Company
2734 Wheat Street
Poukeepsie, NY 73007-4720

Dear Customer Service Department:

On Friday, February 13, I ate a bowl of Lucky Charms cereal that I had purchased the day before. Because I am a very superstitious person, I purchased the cereal believing it may help curb some bad luck that may find me. The box clearly states that the box contains Lucky Charms that are "magically delicious."

While I was eating the cereal, I bit my tongue and I got a stomach ache from the grossly over-sweetened bits of cereal. After that, I tripped on the way to the sink and broke my bowl, cut my forehead open on the counter, and I cut my hands on the broken glass. From then on, my day continually got worse. By the end of the day, I had lost my girlfriend and feeling in my left arm. I also had a large doctor's bill to pay. However, these last examples I will forgive, and I do not claim your cereal responsible for them.

I spoke to Bartholomew, who works in your Customer Service Department, on the phone two days ago. He told me to write a letter to the company and send the cereal, a check copy, and any other significant related details.

I am sending the box of unlucky Lucky Charms, and I am enclosing a copy of the canceled check and more details to my story. Please state somewhere on future boxes that Lucky Charms are not magical in any way and will not necessarily bring luck if consumed. this may be helpful to future superstitious consumers like myself. It may be more healthy to reduce the amount of sugar in your product as well. Also, please send me a gift certificate for another brand of your cereal. I have enjoyed sharing my breakfast each morning with a bowl of delicious General Mills cereal, and I will continue to buy your products.

Sincerely,

Mr. Unlucky

Encl. box of Lucky Charms, check copy, additional information.

All I can say is I hope you enjoyed it. I sure did. Maybe it is the English teacher in me. And, I am pretty excited to see the creativity in our little one! :)